How to Give Birth 101

Saturday John and I "couple bonded" over a 6 hour class on childbirth. There were a total of about 10 couples, all getting ready to have their first child. The woman who taught it was this large loud nurse who definetely kept it interesting. She had over 20 years of experience delivering babies so nothing was really off limits. The first hour was a repeat of sex ed from the fifth grade. Her exact quote "before i tell you how to get this baby out, I'm going to tell you how it got there in the first place". It was a good review but John said he would of been fine with about 5 minutes worth of info vs. 60. Then onto all the joyous components of labor, breathing, and exercises to do to help get ready for the big day. She had all of the ladies sit around in a circle and put their legs together butterfly. Most of the perky 20 something's were able to pull them in tight. Lets just say this 36 year old mother to be wasn't near as limber. I guess i have 9 weeks to practice. There was woman in our class who is probably going to give her OB a run for the money. She didn't seem to be satisfied with the status quo asking about if they had to do this, could they refuse that, could they bring in their own diapers if they wanted a certain kind. Lady, what my kid has on her butt after I get done squeezing a watermelon out is the least of my worries.
The highlight of the day was the birth video. Notice the word "video". That tells you how old it was. And the only couple they could get to be part of the video was this woman with salt and pepper hair (yes salt and pepper hair) and her husband who looked like Captain from Captain and Tenille. And let me tell ya, this woman held nothing back. In fact at one point she got so hot that she had no clothes on. Yep...giving birth naked.

The rest of the day got a little better and we concluded by going on a nice tour of the hospital. It is just what you would expect for being in a nice, above average income, suburb of Houston with mostly people who have insurance. Private rooms, room service, very cozy, comfortable. Not like giving birth at county I'm sure. I shouldn't be so sarcastic though. We are lucky to have good insurance and convenient access to our physicians and good medical care. All and all it was a good experience and I feel like we truly are better prepared for the birth. I just plan on doing it with clothes on...